Are You Curling Up or Shouting Out?

Finding God in the Messy Middle of Pain

When life crashes in, some days you curl up, some days you shout out — and God meets you in both.  There are some days where all I want to do is curl up—literally. Grief, trauma, and shock can knock the breath out of you so hard that even standing upright feels like a victory. On those days, your body wants to fold in, your mind wants to shut off, and your heart just wants to stop feeling. You’ve probably been there.

And then, there are other days… when you feel like shouting at the world. At the people who just don’t get it. At the unfairness. Sometimes—yes—at God.

 

You’re exhausted, angry, confused, barely holding it together. You want to scream into a pillow or demand answers. And if you’ve felt both those extremes—shut down and fired up—you’re not unstable.

You’re human.

And this is the wilderness of real pain.

Pain Doesn’t Follow a Neat Timeline

When the storm hits—maybe it was the loss of a spouse like I experienced, or watching a loved one suffer through mental illness, or losing your home, or the unraveling of everything you once called “normal”—your world gets flipped. And while the rest of the world keeps spinning, you’re stuck in the wreckage.

And it’s not just emotional. You still have a family to show up for.

Kids to drive to school.

A job that expects you to perform.

Bills that don’t pause when your heart breaks.

Groceries to buy. Emails to answer. Smiles to fake.

It’s a free-for-all. And it’s messy.

You’re Not Alone in the Whiplash

Some mornings we just try to keep breathing.

Other days, we find the strength to make real progress.

Sometimes we break down in the car.

Other times we crack a smile that’s actually genuine.

That’s what healing looks like. It’s not linear—it’s a jagged, back-and-forth, unpredictable journey. And you know what?

God walks through all of it with us.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me…” — Psalm 23:4

The Bible doesn’t promise immunity from pain. It promises presence in the pain.

God’s Greater Plan in the Middle of the Wreckage

You might be asking: “What in the world is God doing with all this? What good can possibly come from my hurt?”

The Bible tells us He is:

• Close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18)
• Working all things together for good (Romans 8:28)
• Carrying our burdens daily (Psalm 68:19)
• Making beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3)

It’s not cliché. It’s hard-won truth.

And no, it doesn’t mean He caused your pain.

But it does mean He’s not wasting it.

Glimpses of Goodness in the Chaos

Every now and then, you catch a glimpse—of light, of life, of love. A kind word. A sunrise. A moment where your child laughs. A quiet strength you didn’t think you had. A verse that lands different. A reminder that maybe, just maybe, you’re going to survive this.

These are the breadcrumbs of grace God leaves along the path.

Follow them. Even if you’re limping.

So Where Are You Today?

Maybe you’re curled up.

Maybe you’re shouting.

Maybe you’re somewhere in between—numb, messy, uncertain, tired.

You don’t need to choose one. God meets you in both.

And every step—every breath—is a part of the sacred walk of being real with God, being reshaped by Him, and being slowly rebuilt, not in spite of your pain, but through it.

You’re Not Crazy. You’re Not Alone. You’re Not Hopeless.

This is not the end.

You’re in the middle of a story God is still writing.

So don’t be ashamed if it’s messy. That’s where Jesus shows up best.

“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion…” — Philippians 1:6

Keep breathing. Keep walking.

Keep being real—with God, with others, with yourself.

You’re somewhere between curling up and shouting out…

and God is right there in the middle of it all.